


love you like i can

by carnivallouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Zourry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, zouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 04:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4905838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carnivallouis/pseuds/carnivallouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>zayn always loved louis but he could never have him, until he thought he could, but still truthfully couldn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	love you like i can

**_you should follow my tumblr -[@boybandboyfriends](http://boybandboyfriends.tumblr.com/)_ **

**_and talk to me on kik bc i love all larries and ziams and lashton's and mukes c:_ **

**_love youuuu, hope you had a great day.. say 'anna' to my inbox on tumblr if you want a personal message to brighten your day a little._ **

**_i'll do them for anyone if you're feeling a bit down or add me on kik if you need to talk, i will never mind, i talk to a lot of larries don't worry c:_ **

**_i left a few important parts out and exasperated in parts, the times are off too... it's just a drabble lol_ **

 

**_\- love anna x_ **

* * *

 

 

The first time Zayn realised he adored Louis was on X Factor.

The first time everyone actually properly met was awkward to say at the least. Simon had told them all to sit in a room alone and chat, get to know each other, or in this case listen to a smiley blonde kid, talk annoyingly fast in a thick Irish accent that none of them could understand. 

Zayn was next to a guy called Liam. He was tall and sweet looking, he had a weird looking fringe that Zayn didn't like at all but he forced a smile even though.

Opposite was Harry. He had crazy curly hair and dimples and for some reason that made Zayn uncomfortable. Things that seemed difficult to handle like that hair made Zayn annoyed and he didn't understand why. Probably because he didn't like drama and issues, but he didn't let it get to him that much.

Next to Harry was Niall; he was the blonde one that never shut up and after 3 minutes and 21 seconds Zayn had really had enough of him. He needed to shut up, no-one cared about Ireland. Zayn never wanted to go and therefore never considered going anyway. He didn't like the accent and certainly at the moment didn't like Niall.

Niall was a stupid name anyway, Zayn thought.

Finally was Louis. He was opposite Liam, one the opposite side of Harry. 

He didn't have many gay people at his school, in fact he had done come to mention it- well none that were brave enough to 'come out' in a Muslim based school. Sure there were rumours, but no solid proof. So Zayn wasn't exactly sure if it was attraction he felt towards Louis or just a strong liking. 

He was smiley, and funny, but not in a Niall way. In a Louis way. 

And when Harry giggled, and hugged him and lent his head on his shoulder.. Zayn realised _that he did not like Harry._

 

In 2011, the boys' were brothers.

They all loved each other, sure Niall was still annoying but Harry had tamed his curls, Liam had got rid of the fringe and Louis was still as great as ever.

Zayn was in his element. Especially as him and Louis were definitely the closest in the band.

More than brothers', like a married couple. 

They slept in the same bed, mainly because Louis liked cuddling people and Zayn didn't mind being cuddled. He didn't shift uncomfortably duing the night like the other boys' did and Louis always threated that he'd be squished and so he decided to stay away.

They drank tea together and watched movies together and went outside to chill after a concert, or whenever Zayn needed time alone.

But alone wasn't alone anymore. Alone was with Louis. 

They made a promise to each other that they'd never let a _woman_ hold them down, _it'd always be Zayn and Louis. Zouis._

Louis went everywhere with Zayn, like they were joined at the hip... _and Zayn loved it._

 

2012 was when Zayn began to realise where he stood. 

He understood very quickly that he possibly wasn't Louis husband, that maybe Harry was.

He noticed on Halloween firstly, all of the boys' were going to a haunted house.. but Harry and Louis decided not to go. 

They came back with Niall in tears and Louis and Harry cuddling on the sofa watching Saw. 

And no Zayn wasn't jealous, he was ... annoyed.

Annoyed that Louis had blown him off for Harry.

Annoyed that Louis was the one that ordered the tickets for them all.

Annoyed that Harry looked way too pleased with himself and they were way too close of comfort.

 

Zayn didn't think well when he was angry, so the next morning with Louis beside him in bed, he decided to text that nice girl from that group he met a while back. He couldn't remember her name but that didn't stop him from asking if she was free, of course he got a 'yes c:'. 

When Louis found out, seeing as he looked at Zayn's phone sometimes because he was nosey, his constant mocking encouraged Zayn to go and meet her even more.. he didn't know what he'd achieve... maybe he wanted to make Louis jealous. But of course he didn't.

 

2013 was Zayn's worst nightmare, 

The moment Harry mentioned even having a hint of a thing for Louis, Zayn froze.

They were laughing about the rumours of them all dating and Harry said Louis.

Called him 'hot' and said he 'thought he was in love with him, to be honest'.

Zayn chuckled to himself, Harry was an idiot. 

Like Louis would like Harry.. Harry was just a silly boy with a crush. 

But then Zayn realised... maybe him and Harry did have something in common... not the 'crush' of course, _because Zayn was not gay._

 

_\--_

Louis drunkly telling Zayn he liked Harry, felt like a kick in the teeth. 

And he wasn't that sure why. 

Louis got drunk at a pub near Bradford when they were home for the holidays and Louis had an argument with Stan and whoever else he was with so he called Zayn. 

He didn't mind strangely, even though it was 5am and Zayn would happily slit whoever woke him up's throat without a second of hesitation.

When he was carrying Louis over to his car, he nearly dropped him.

He should have been shocked.

After weeks of flirting and caressing Harry's hand, and stroking his hair and eyeing him up on, after and before performances; he should've expected it.

But he didn't, and you could say he was .. _blind in love. But definitely not._

 

In 2014 every second was a fight waiting to happen. 

After Romeo and Romeo admitted feelings, started an official relationship and weeks to months went past with the sound of Harry's (and Louis' now) bed headboard banging on the wall, imprinted into their brains. Zayn hated everyone and everything.

Zayn snapped at everything and everyone.  He hated everything and everyone.

_He hated Harry even more._

Perrie was a good hugger in bed, but not like Louis. 

She wasn't small and gentle like him. Well she was, just not like he was.

Nothing was like Louis was.

Zayn couldn't compare him to anyone, or anything. Louis was Louis.. and Louis only.

 

\---

And it wasn't like Zayn slightly copied Harry, because he wanted to compete with him or because he wanted to prove something to Louis.. or maybe himself. They were all just simple coincidences. 

_Like when Harry invited all of their families round and got onto one knee to Louis, and Joannah cried and Louis screamed yes.._

_And then a week later Zayn invited his and Perrie's families around and did the same thing.. Debbie cried and Perrie screamed yes.._

Those were total coincidences. 

 

_Or when Harry got them both a new house and got a Louis a puppy for his birthday.._

_Then Zayn got a house with Perrie and got Hatchi for her birthday..._

 

But Zayn's problem was it got out of hand.., and Liam caught on, that Zayn was a bit of a copycat.

And when he asked suttlily and Zayn snapped at him, and then he asked more forcefully and they ended up having a shouting match in the dressing room.

It wasn't surprising that Harry heard.

 

And when he did he asked Louis.

But Louis did love Zayn, he loved Zayn like a brother, best friend ... but not a boyfriend. 

But Harry thought back to 2012, and yeah he was a little jealous. 

So he asked Louis to stay away from Zayn, and because he loved Harry he did.

_Zayn definitely hated Harry._

 

_2015 was the year Zayn finally figured out what he wanted._

He didn't want Perrie, he wasn't sure if she knew and ignored it or was completely dumb and didn't understand anything.

But either way, he tried to spend enough time away from her as possible without his mother or sisters' getting suspicious. 

He didn't like the girls' and he didn't like the drugs but he felt like staying high was the only way to keep Louis off his mind.

And it honestly was. He hated it so much.

Louis avoided him like the plague, and that was a knife to his heart. 

And Harry didn't seem to interested in Zayn anyway, their friendly image was over now and fans had realised that there was something off between Zarry.

 

But when Louis got jealous over Harry and Nick getting way too close for comfort (which in Louis' eyes was simply looking at each other too long), he strutted back to Zayn one night in London and they ended up sleeping together.. not sleep, sleeping together, but cuddling in bed with Zayns arms wrapped around him and Louis cuddled up into his chest. 

Drugs or other girls' didn't even enter his thoughts, the only thing that did was Harry.. and he loved it.

When Harry found out he yelled, and yelled, and yelled.

Louis rolled his eyes and gave snarky replies but Harry was really, really pissed off.

And Zayn, once again, didn't understand why. 

 

 

\-- 

The next time he saw Louis fully was when he came crying and knocking on his door was at 3am on a Sunday morning.., Perrie was off and tour so Louis cuddled up in Zayn's bed with his cheeks all puffy and red with tear marks down them. Louis told him that Harry cheated on him with Nick, that he came back with hickies on his neck and his hair all sticky and wet and admitted he'd slept with him, not once, but 4 times in the past year. 

And Zayn didn't hate Harry as much as you'd expected, he was actually happy about it. 

Obviously not the Louis crying and depressed part but yes of course the fact they were finished. 

Zayn loved Louis, and when after 5 years they finally slept together, Louis forced himself to think he might love Zayn too.

 

\---

 

Zayn and Louis were good together, his family didn't know about _them_ with the whole religion debate and everything, and Louis' family didn't know either because he didn't know how to mention it so he just went on with the wedding plans with his lips sealed until he decided what to say.

Zayn didn't mind, because Louis was all his again, Harry ignored them both, he cried sometimes late at night when he was drunk calling Louis but he just ignored him now. 

But Louis wasn't as happy as he use to be, and after a few months Zayn realised maybe it wasn't after-break up depression..

Maybe it was Louis needed Harry, like Harry needed Louis.

And when he found a text on Louis phone, only reading 'I miss you too x'

He realised something... maybe Louis and Zayn weren't meant to be.

_And that was the moment Zayn finally did understand._

 

**_Sorry this wasn't very good but it's late in England and i wanted to write something simple like this for a while, hope you like it! Make sure you read the notes at the top!_ **

**_Love youu xxx_ **

 


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